From left to right: Sister Catherine Joy, Sister Virginia Joy, and Sister Israel Rose of the Sisters of Life at SEEK 2026 in Denver. | Credit: Francesca Fenton/EWTN News
Jan 7, 2026 / 06:00 am (CNA).
Hundreds of young women filled a ballroom on Jan. 4 at the 2026 SEEK Conference in Denver to hear Sister Virginia Joy Cotter, SV, discuss how to follow God’s call and determine one’s vocation.
“When we think about vocation, it’s ultimately a call to love and be loved,” Sister Virginia Joy said during her talk, titled “The Adventure of the Yes: Following God’s Call.”
“Growing up, or even now, you’re probably asked, ‘What are you going to do when you grow up? What’s your major? What do you want to do with your life?’” she said. “I would guess no one has probably asked you, ‘What are you going to do with your love? How do you plan to make a gift of yourself?’ But these are the questions that sit behind a vocation.”
“For some, the word vocation might be completely foreign to you. For others, maybe it provokes a stream of emotions from wonder to anticipation to anxiety. Whatever it means to you, it’s good to take stock of where it sits with you right now and open your heart to whatever God wants to give you this morning.”
Sister Virginia Joy shared that “ultimately, our vocation is not a problem to be fixed or a riddle to be solved … Vocation is deeply relational, personal, and distinct. It comes from the Latin ‘vocare,’ meaning to call, to name, to summon. There’s one who calls and there’s one who responds. It’s a relationship between each individual and God.”
Here are seven ways a person can discern his or her vocation based on Sister Virginia Joy’s talk:
Pay attention to where and how you are called to love
Sister Virginia Joy shared that the questions behind one’s vocation are fundamentally about “what are you going to do with your love” and how you are called to “make a gift of yourself,” not merely what career or role you will have.
Receive God’s love first
She emphasized that the prerequisite for hearing God’s call is first receiving his love, since vocation flows from a relationship.
“When I think about a vocational call, I think of two things: First, God is the one who calls, and it is always a call of love. Second, we are the ones to respond to that call and to love in return. So first, the prerequisite to hearing God’s call is receiving his love,” Sister Virginia Joy said.
Develop a real prayer life and speak honestly to God
God makes himself known in prayer, especially when a person speaks from the heart — expressing longing, confusion, loneliness, or desire for meaning.
Sister Virginia Joy highlighted that “God is looking for a place to break in and make himself known. I trust you’ve experienced it here at SEEK. It’s real. He’s real. And he is in pursuit of your heart. He knows you and he desires that you come to know him. This happens in prayer.”
“But prayer can be challenging because we’re used to instant gratification. We want to see results. And yet relationships, they’re not about results,” she added. “Relationships take time, patience, and trust. Sometimes I think we settle or we allow ourselves to get distracted because real love means facing our weakness and searching for the Lord in times of loneliness, doubt, and even pain.”
Stay close to the sacraments, especially confession and the Eucharist
Sister Virginia Joy emphasized that living in grace and regularly receiving the sacraments helps ensure that a person does not miss God’s call and gains the strength to respond in his time.
She shared with those gathered that she has always found herself making life decisions after “a good confession — decisions to move across the country, decisions to become a missionary, decisions to accept a particular job or begin or end a dating relationship.”
“I know there can be a lot of fear about somehow missing what God is calling me to,” Sister Virginia Joy said. “And I just want to crush that fear because the truth is if you’re staying close to the sacraments, if you’re living in grace, you will not miss what God is calling you to. And because of the grace of the sacraments, you will have the strength to respond in God’s time.”
Live your call to love daily, even before knowing your definitive vocation
Sister Virginia Joy stressed that holiness and vocation are lived now, through everyday acts of love, even before one enters marriage, religious life, or another permanent state.
She asked those gathered: “Where are we called to love?”
“It’s not a complicated question. All the love happens right where God has you — with family, friends, roommates. We are each given so many opportunities to love every day. You might not be in your definitive vocation right now or five years from now, but your call to love is now. Your call to make a gift of yourself is now,” she said.
Recognize your unique gifts
Especially for women, discerning vocation involves recognizing the “uniquely feminine” capacity for receptivity, generosity, spiritual maternity, and leading others to God, Sister Virginia Joy explained.
“As women, we possess a unique capacity for love … Written into our very makeup by design, we as women have space for another, room for another. And the physical capacity — we’ve heard this over the days — the physical capacity to receive and carry life sheds a much deeper reality within the heart of each woman,” she said. “Our bodies and souls are intimately connected and together they tell us something — that our love is receptive, sensitive, generous, maternal.”
Observe where your heart becomes undivided and free
A key sign of vocation is interior freedom and unity of heart, where fear gives way to peace and clarity about where, as Sister Virginia Joy said, one is called “to make a gift of oneself in a total way.”
She shared that while discerning her own vocation her heart was divided — seeing the beauty in both married life and religious life. It wasn’t until she asked in prayer, “What do you want, Lord?” while on retreat with the Sisters of Life that she heard him say, “You. You. All of you for myself.”
“And in an instant, my heart was undivided,” she recalled. “I knew where I was being called to give my love and my life, and I felt more free than I ever had.”
“Your love story is going to be perfectly unique to you,” Sister Virginia Joy added. “God has been preparing something far beyond your expectations and he desires your freedom to respond with an undivided heart. Whether it be marriage, religious life, lay life, there is no doubt he wants you and your unique love. God loves you.”
